


Baby Love

by Jules1980



Category: The Outsiders (1983), The Outsiders - All Media Types, The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-28 00:25:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15696429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jules1980/pseuds/Jules1980
Summary: Being 12 is hard. Being 12 while your mom is the hospital, your Dad is so stressed out he hasn't noticed your recently acquired penchant for stealing, your brother is being a pain because he can't get to baseball, and finding out that your whole life has been a huge lie is even harder. Learning the truth may be even harder yet. A/U: Curtis sister fic.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I own nothing you recognize.
> 
> A/U: Curtis Sister

12 Things Johnny Cade never told anyone:

  * That he loved when Babydoll would wear his jean jacket. It would smell like her perfume and Breck shampoo for days when she gave it back.

  * He liked that she was shorter and slighter than him. It made him feel strong for once. Like he could protect her from anything.

  * He'd liked her for as long as he'd known the Curtis family, though he was too shy to talk to her for most of that time.

  * He didn't like for her to see him after his dad had been at him. Her seeing him all bruised up and defeated made him feel..., what was that word Ponyboy had used? Oh yeah, emasculated.

  * There was no better music than Elvis Presley, but he loved when Babydoll sang girl group songs to him in the vacant lot.

  * He asked Babydoll to the Spring Dance two years ago because he thought one of the Soc boys was about to without realizing that she was going to actually want to dance and he didn't know how.

  * He'd begged SodaPop to teach him how to dance but Steve kept making fun of them. Finally, Mrs. Curtis had taken pity on him and taught him a basic slow step but he still sat out most dances while Babydoll had danced with Two-Bit and Dally. He didn't mind Two-Bit. Her dancing with Two-Bit was like her dancing with Darry.

  * He did mind her dancing with Dally. Just a bit. Especially when at the last Winter Dance, she'd been singing Baby Love to him. He didn't like her singing that song to Dally. That was his song.

  * He'd hidden from her after his first run-in with the Socs. How could she ever look at him as strong if she saw him beaten to hell?

  * Darry never wanted Babydoll to hang out alone with any of the boys. This didn't apply to Johnny. As silly as it was, Johnny resented this. Did Darry think he wasn't man enough to put the moves on Babydoll?

  * That with Babydoll he felt like a man instead of a scared little boy.




18 Things Babydoll will never forget:

  * The way Johnny's black eyes would sparkle when he looked at her.

  * How soft his lips were.

  * That he was her first kiss and she was his.

  * Lying on the old car seat in the vacant lot, just talking with Johnny.

  * Johnny wrapping them up in his jean jacket and asking her to sing to him while staring at the stars.

  * The first time Johnny told her 'I love you.'

  * Hiding in the broom closet, making out with him because if Darry found out, he'd cut Johnny's balls off.

  * The night Darry banged on the closet door and told her to go to bed and Johnny to go home. She thought her heart had stopped for a moment.

  * Fighting with him for just disappearing when he'd finally stopped avoiding her after the run-in with the Socs. Letting things go just a little too far making up from that fight.

  * Johnny didn't want to see her when he was in the hospital after the fire. By that point, she'd come to realize it was about his pride and not that he didn't love her but it still hurt.

  * Johnny's funeral.

  * Dally didn't have a funeral, his father couldn't, or wouldn't, afford it, but the gang had a wake for him.

  * Two-Bit finding her sitting in the vacant lot a month later at three in the morning. “I know the beef with the Socs has been settled with the rumble, but they aren't likely to turn down such a pretty target sitting out here all alone,” he'd said, wrapping his jacket around her shoulders and walking her home.

  * Darry yelling at her to tell him whose bastard she was carrying over and over.

  * Two-Bit finally jumping between them and saying, “It's mine, Darry! It's my bastard! You want to be mad, be mad at me.”

  * Darry knocking him clear across the living room.

  * How proud Two-Bit looked holding Johnnycake the day she was born.

  * The day she realized that she didn't just love Two-Bit, she was in love with him.




5 Things Two-Bit doesn't regret and the one he does:

  * Finding Babydoll in the vacant lot.

  * Doing the right thing by Babydoll.

  * Cleaning up his act.

  * Not putting his hands on Babydoll until she asked him to, even if it was damn hard not to sometimes.

  * Giving his girls all the love they deserved and more.




The one thing he does regret:

  * Doing the right thing cost him the best friendship he'd ever had. He'd expected the beating but things were never exactly the same after that.




5 Things Johnnycake Mathews doesn't understand:

  * Why Mama gets sad in May when everyone else is getting happy.

  * Why the guys in the neighborhood patted her hair and gave her quarters and silver dollars.

  * That Mama loved to dance with Daddy, especially to the old girl groups but Baby Love made her cry and hide in her bedroom for hours.

  * Why Mama and Daddy hid her from the mean-eyed woman who lived next door to Uncle Darry.

  * Why her earliest memory, the one that she wasn't even sure was real, was of Mama, sitting at the kitchen table with Daddy standing beside her, trying to talk to her. “Because I'm not Johnnycake? Dammit, Daisy! How long are you going to punish us because I can't be Johnnycake?” Why did her daddy want to be her and how would that make Mama happy again if he could be?

* * *

 




_June 1978_

_Uncle Ponyboy gave me this journal for my birthday and told me I should write down things I think. At first, I just put it in my desk and forgot about it, but now I'm bored so here goes._

_Hi. I'm Johnnie Mathews. My parents are Two-Bit Mathews and Babydoll Curtis. Well, that's not their real names. Her real name is Daisy Mae Curtis Mathews. With that name, I'd let everybody call me Babydoll too. And everyone does call Mama Babydoll, except Daddy and sometimes Uncle Darry. Daddy calls her Daisy or just Baby, and Uncle Darry calls her Little Sister if he doesn't call her Babydoll. Mama has three brothers. Uncle Darry, whose real name is Darrel Shane Curtis, Jr., Uncle SodaPop, and Uncle PonyBoy. That's their real names. Like on their birth certificates and everything and while we're on the subject, my name on my birth certificate is not Johnnie. It's Johnnycake Mathews. My parents actually named me Johnnycake. I just say that it's Johnnie because that sounds a little less weird if a girl named Johnnie can sound less strange. I feel like I should tell you that Daddy's name isn't really Two-Bit, either. It's Keith Mitchell Mathews, but since Grammy died, Mama is the only person who ever calls him that and only when she's mad at him, or they're being all kissy and gross. I also have an Aunt Kim. She's my daddy's sister, but she got married and moved to Washington when I was three. She doesn't come home very often. I have a little brother. He has the completely normal name of Keith Mitchell Mathews, Junior. And my PARENTS are having TWINS this summer. That is soooo gross. I mean, the babies part is fine. I like babies. It's just that it means my parents still do IT and now all my friends know it too. My mom has this like, huge stomach now and Daddy is always rubbing it or talking to it and all my friends see them. They even kiss in front of my friends and I. It's disgusting. There should be a point where parents stop doing that kind of stuff. The worst part of it is though, is that the babies have made mom sick somehow and she has to be in the hospital on bed rest until they're born. That's why Keith and I are staying with Uncle Darry and Aunt Emily this summer. Daddy works all day, then comes over and takes us to see Mama for visiting hours, then brings us back to Uncle Darry's, or sends us with Uncle Soda if he's there and he usually is. He and mama are twins and super close and Aunt Marcia is Mama's closest friend, so they're almost always there. Then Daddy goes back to the hospital and spends the night with Mama._

_There is absolutely nothing to do at Uncle Darry's. That's why I'm writing in this journal now. I'm so bored that even writing seems fun. I wish I could go to Uncle Soda's but he and Aunt Marcia are at the garage all day so there would be no one to watch Keith and Mama says I'm not old enough even though she used to babysit Uncle Pony when she was thirteen._

_Uncle Pony is a famous writer so maybe he knows what he's talking about with the journal. He writes for a paper in Oklahoma City and his column is, um..., what do they call it when it runs in other papers? Oh yeah, syndicated. It's syndicated all over the country. He has also written a bunch of books for teens. I've read most of them already. There is one Mama says I'm not old enough to read yet. But I am twelve, starting junior high, and I can read on a college level. I've asked her to let me read it every year since I was nine. She always says no. Well, she's not going to be around this summer, so I'm going to read it. Tomorrow, I'm going to ask my cousin, Jamie, to walk to the library with me so I can check it out. He's a good egg. He won't tell anyone that I've got the book like my cousin, Sara, his sister, would. Maybe we'll ask my friend Melody to go with us. It's just a book. How bad can it be?_

_Well, it's almost five thirty and Aunt Emily is calling me to get ready for Daddy to come to take Keith and me to see Mama so I'll write more next time I'm bored to tears._

_Johnnie_

Johnnycake hid her journal away in her overnight bag and went to the mirror in the room she was sharing with Sara and pinned her black hair into a ponytail and carefully applied some pale pink lipstick on her lips. Her Daddy had said she couldn't wear makeup until she was thirteen. But last week, he'd taken her and Keith to the drugstore for hamburgers and milkshakes before going to the hospital and she'd swiped a tube of Kiss Me Pink lipstick when Daddy was paying the ticket. He'd never notice and she'd rub it off before she saw Mama. She thought it looked nice against her brown skin.

“Johnnycake Mathews!” Emily called again. “Come on out. Two-Bit will be here any minute.”

“Coming Aunt Emily,” she called back, stashing the lipstick with her journal and running into the kitchen.

 


	2. Chapter 2

June 17, 1978

_Hi,_

_Me again. Anyway, today stinks. Jamie and I were going to walk to the library, then to the drugstore to get milkshakes and we didn't even have to take Sara or Keith, but it rained all day. It's looking up, though. Aunt Emily just said everyone is going to the Daily Double tonight to see Saturday Night Fever and Grease. Even Mr. Steve and my best friend, Melody, are going to come along. Mr. Steve said we could even sit in the seats alone instead of having to stay in someone's car. That'll be a first and I'm sure Mama will hit the roof when she finds out. I love John Travolta. Melody is eleven and she likes Sly Stallone. Her mama died when she was three so it's just her and Mr. Steve. Mama took her bra shopping last month. That was nice of her. I can't imagine having to get Daddy to take me underwear shopping. Still, it's not fair that Melody is almost a full year younger than me and already needs a brassiere but I don't. Mama tried to make me feel better by buying me one of those little training bra things but it is not the same as a real bra with cups and padding like she got Mel. I'm ashamed to say, I cried. Mama tried to say that I was just going to be a 'late-bloomer'. Seriously. Why do adults think this makes kids feel better? Finally, she told me that I was probably just always going to be small. That it ran in the family, but that doesn't make sense. Mama is short but she has curves. My Uncles are all tall and muscular. And Daddy is six feet tall and broad-shouldered and Grammy Mathews definitely had boobs._

_Mama is really pretty when she isn't pregnant. I know that sounds mean but I don't mean it to be. I'm just kind of worried about how not nice she looks lately. Mama has beautiful hair. It's just like Carol Kane's, all golden almost blonde with riotous curls everywhere and she keeps it perfectly styled and pinned up. She never even wears it in a ponytail unless she's cleaning. I've only seen it down when she's just getting out of bed or into the shower. But last night when we went to see her, her hair was all oily and lanky. She didn't even bother to pull it into a ponytail or even brush it, it looked like. Her face is swollen round and her gray-green eyes are sunk in. She looks like someone blew her up like a balloon. Keith is oblivious like always. He just jumps up in the bed with her and starts blabbing on about baseball and Uncle Darry and Jamie taking him swimming, even though anyone with eyes can see Mama is way too tired to listen. Daddy never stops watching her when he's with her and as soon as she even looks tired, he whisks us away so she can rest. I think he's scared. I've never seen my Daddy scared of anything. Even Uncle Soda looks worried when he looks at her. I heard him and Uncle Darry talking about whether they should call Uncle Pony to come on down. And I heard Daddy tell Aunt Emily and Aunt Marcia that if the medicine they're giving Mama stops working, they'll have to deliver the babies. They're still too little. I hear lots of things I shouldn't. I'm good at that. This having babies stuff isn't worth the trouble if you ask me._

_Anyway, I won't think of that. I'll think of going to the Daily Double tonight. A John Travolta double feature will be just the thing to get my mind off everything and maybe tomorrow Jamie and I can walk to the library. Time to get ready._

_-Johnnie_

Johnnycake read over the journal page then at the bottom of the page, in tiny barely legible letters she wrote.

_I'm afraid my mama will die._

She stashed her journal and started getting ready for the movies. The daily double had been around forever. Mama said her and her friends and Daddy and Uncle Pony and Soda and their friends used to hang out there too. Uncle Pony even talks about it in some of his books.

* * *

Two-Bit had never been one for being quiet. It seemed like the more he tried to be quiet, the louder he was. That was definitely the case when he stepped into the small, dark hospital room and saw Babydoll asleep against the pillows. He tried to shut the door quietly but it banged even to his own ears. He looked back at her.

She opened her eyes and smiled weakly. "There's my guy." She held her hand out to him.

"I brought you a milkshake," he said, crossing the room. He set the cup on the bedside table and took her hand in his, leaning down to kiss her lips.

"Thank you. I'll drink it later," she said, sliding over. "Hold me?"

"How can I resist that request?" He sat down next to her and slid his arm around her shoulders and pulled her to his chest. He put the cup in her hand. "You need to eat something, Baby."  
She took a small sip to appease him, then set it back down, resting her hand on his chest. "Marcia came by after they closed the garage today. She said they were taking everyone to the daily doubles to see Grease."

"Yeah," he said, kissing her head. "Johnnie was so excited she could barely eat her supper. Darry and Steve are going to let her and Melody sit in the seats and not in a car with boring grown-ups."

"Do you think that's a good idea?" she asked, slightly alarmed. "So much happens in those seats."  
"They'll be fine, Honey," he drawled. "Jamie'll be with them. He might just be ten but he's already as big and strong as any thirteen-year-old and he knows when to fight and when to run for Darry and Steve."

"I guess," she said, laying her head back on his shoulder. "You didn't want to go?"  
"Are you kidding me?" He feigned shock. "I can't go to the drive-in without my best girl to make out with."

"I never made out at the drive-in," she laughed softly.

"Oh, so that was some other girl sucking face with Johnny in the back seat of my car during Viva Las Vegas," he teased. "Good to know."

"I was not making out," she protested, her cheeks turning red. "Kissing isn't making out. Besides, it wasn't like you weren't encouraging him or anything."

"No comment." He smiled, then kissed her softly.

"So they're going to see a movie about a good girl who falls in love with a greasy haired hoodlum and becomes a bad girl," she said. "Hmm..., that's pretty much the story of how Johnnycake came to be but with less singing and a lot more Darry yelling."

"Except you're still a good girl," he replied.

"I'm not even a girl anymore," she laughed, reaching up to run her fingers through his hair. "I do miss your tuff hair though." She ran her hand down and cupped his cheek. "You look so tired, Keith. Why don't you go home tonight? Sleep in a real bed. Get some rest."

"I'm fine," he dismissed her concern.

"You're worn out," she insisted. "You won't be any good to me or the kids if you keep pushing yourself so hard. Go home tonight. I'll be fine."

"Okay," he said, reaching for the milkshake on the table and putting it in her hands again. "I'll go home and sleep if you drink all of this milkshake."

"Fine," she agreed, rolling her eyes. "But if I puke, it's your fault."

She only made it halfway through the milkshake before falling back to sleep on his chest.

Two-Bit kissed her head and slid out from under her, trying not to move her too much. He pulled the blankets over her and turned out the lights in the room as he left. He hadn't loved Babydoll when he married her. At least not like a husband was supposed to love his wife. She was a Curtis and part of the gang and he loved her the same way he'd loved Johnny and Dally, the same way he loved SodaPop or PonyBoy. She was his kind and she was in trouble. He'd stepped up because it was the right thing to do, not because he was in love with her or anything. Somehow, though, she'd worked her way into his heart and he couldn't imagine life without her. The thought that she could die literally stole his breath away. He tried to be his happy go lucky self so that she and their children wouldn't be upset, but he didn't know if he could stand to lose someone else.

* * *

Johnnycake, Melody, and Jamie had just gotten their snacks and settled into their seats when a group of bigger boys took the seats in front of them. Johnnie knew them from school. They were going to be in the eighth grade, but she'd been in school with them until the previous year. They were troublemakers.

"Hey, let's just go back and sit in my Daddy's truck," Melody whispered.

"Why?" Jamie asked. "We have just as much right to sit here as they do."

"That's right," Johnnie said, tilting her chin up. "They're just bullies."

"You say something, Indian Squaw?" The biggest one spun around in his seat.

That rankled Johnnie to her core. She hated when the kids at school called her that. The stupid kids who believed that having black hair, dark eyes, and a tan complexion meant you were Native American and used it as an insult. She thought this one's last name was Shepard. "Don't call me that," she snapped.

"Don't call you what?" He grinned. "Indian Squaw?"

"Let's just go," Melody pleaded. She hated fights.

"Shut up," he told her.

"Hey, don't talk to them like that," Jamie spoke up.

"Who's going to stop me, Kid?" He replied, sizing him up. His buddies laughed. "Simmer down. I'm talking to the girl here." He looked back at Johnnycake. "I know you."  
"I doubt it," she replied, coolly.

"No, I know you," he grinned. "You're Babydoll Mathew's bastard."

At that, Jamie jumped to his feet and stepped in front of Johnnie who had also stood up. Melody ran to get Steve and Darry.

"Take that back," Jamie demanded.

Shepard laughed. "My old man says your mama sure pulled a fast one on ol' Two-Bit. He said that your Daddy is a cuckolded fool because there ain't no way that red-haired asshole made a little squaw baby. He said that your mama was fooling around...,"

"Shut up!" Jamie interrupted punching Shepard sending him to the ground. "You don't talk dirty around girls." He pounced on him, rolling around in the dirt, trying to land another punch on the bigger boy.

Shepard's friends grabbed Johnnie and held her back.

Suddenly, Uncle Darry, Uncle Soda, and Mr. Steve were there, pulling the boys apart, then jerking the others off her.

"What are ya'll doing?" A rough voice called from behind her.

Uncle Darry looked ready for a fight, but his face softened as he looked at the man striding up to them.

"Hey, Tim," he said, coolly

"Darry," Tim Shepard nodded. "Soda, Steve. Long time, no see. That your boy?" He pointed to Jamie who Darry was holding by the arm.

"Yep," Darry nodded. "Those yours?" He motioned to the three boys that Steve and Soda had by their collars.

"Well, that biggest one is Curly's. The others are just some thugs he hangs out with," Tim said, then add, "Or did hang out with. What happened?"  
When none of the boys spoke up, Darry shook Jamie's arm. "Jamie, what happened?"

Jamie sighed and folded his arms across his chest. He didn't want to be a snitch, but he didn't want to disobey his dad either. Finally, he rolled his eyes and cocked his head to the side to show his annoyance as he said, "He was talking dirty about Aunt Babydoll."

"Is that true, Jase?" Tim roughly jerked the biggest boy away from Soda and turned him to face him.

"I don't know what he's talking about, Uncle Tim," Jase said, rolling his eyes. "I was just sitting here and he started in on my dad being a jailbird."

"That's not true! I don't even know who you are," Jamie argued. He looked up at Darry. "He said Johnnie was a bastard and that Uncle Two-Bit was a..., well, I don't know what he called Uncle Two-Bit, but it didn't sound nice and he started to say something else dirty about Aunt Babydoll so I shut his fat mouth."

"That's the truth," Johnnie spoke up.

"Yeah, I heard him," Melody agreed.

"Apologize," Tim demanded, turning Jase to face the others. "Now!"

"Sorry," Jase mumbled, then pleaded, "But he hit me, Uncle Tim."

"He's a kid," Tim said. "I wouldn't be calling attention to the fact that I got my ass kicked by a kid if I was you. Get to the car." He pointed at the other two. "Go with him. I'm taking y'all home since y'all don't know how to behave in public." It looked as if the boys were going to argue but Tim point towards where the cars were parked. "I said, go." The boys stomped off and Tim looked at Darry again. "Look, I'm sorry about all this. Curly got himself thrown in the state pen and his old lady took off and my wife and I got landed with Jase. He ain't never been taught no manners. We just moved back here to take care of him. I'm sorry if he ruined your night."

Darry nodded. "Sorry to hear about Curly."

"Yeah, well, it was bound to happen," Tim said. He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and pulled a few bills out, holding them out to the kids. "Here, go replace your snacks those heathens ruined."

"That ain't necessary," Steve protested before Darry could.

"I know it ain't," Tim replied. "I want to. That boy is my responsibility now."

Darry and Steve gave the kids permission to take the money and go back to the concession stand.

"That girl...," Tim started.

"What about her?" Soda shot back defensively.

"She know she's Johnny Cade's girl?" He asked.

"That's Two-Bit's daughter," Soda answered.

Tim nodded. "Well, I'll make sure Curly's foul-mouthed boy ain't the one who tells her any different. See you around boys."

"Hey, Tim," Darry stopped him.

"Yeah?"

"Come by the house for a beer sometime," Darry said, holding out his hand. "We'll catch up when our kids aren't trying to have a rumble."

"Yeah," Tim smiled, shaking Darry's hand, then Soda's, and Steve's.

"If that's Curly's boy," Steve said, watching Tim walk off. "Then who did Curly knock up?

"Sandy," Soda answered. "Before going off to the reformatory."

"Damn, that's tough, man," Steve replied. Soda had never told him that he knew who Sandy had been two-timing him with all those years ago. "How come you never told me that?"

"Because being thrown over for Curly Shepard was really something I was going to admit to?" Soda grinned, the pain of that situation long gone. "Let's get the kids and get back to our girls before they run off too."


	3. Chapter 3

 

* * *

September 1964

Greaser girls don't cry. They hide their pain behind too much make up and downcast eyes. But Daisy Curtis wasn't a greaser girl. She was from the south side sure, but she wasn't greasy. Anna Curtis had made sure of that. She'd tried to make sure that none of her children had to be greasers. Darry was off to college. Soda wouldn't be headed for college, but he had the charm and charisma that would make him a success at whatever he did choose to do, even if it was just working at the DX. Ponyboy was smart, he was going to do even better than Darry in school and probably have a full ride to college. She didn't worry about her boys as much. You didn't have too. She worried after Daisy all the time though. Not that Daisy wasn't just as good as her brothers, but because the world judged girls more harshly than they did boys. The boys could spend their teen years running wild and no one would say a thing as long as they straightened up when they left school. But a girl, one wrong choice could ruin them for life. That's why she made sure that Babydoll, a name she tried to stop but Darrel, Sr. insisted on, never made the wrong choice. Her skirts were always long, her slacks or shorts decent, her hair combed and styled, and she only wore pink lipstick for make-up. She didn't let her smoke on the street corners. She didn't let her hang out late with boys or go on solo dates. She'd let her go out with Johnny Cade but if it had been Keith Mathews, Dallas Winston, or even sweet Steve Randle who had asked, Anna would have had Darrel, Sr. put a stop to it right away. Johnny Cade was too innocent to ruin any girl's reputation. Still, unless it was a school function, she had to take Soda or Ponyboy with them and be home at 9:30. No one was going to say that her girl wasn't a good girl.

That's why Babydoll was able to show the emotions that her brothers couldn't when their parents died.

It was a Friday night. They had been at a ballgame. Babydoll was a cheerleader and the gang had hung around after the game to walk her home. Two-Bit, Steve, and PonyBoy were imitating plays from the game. Soda was lagging behind, walking with Sandy, their steps slowing as they neared her house and the point they'd have to say goodbye for tonight. Babydoll and Johnny were walking in front of the group, holding hands, heads bent together deep in conversation.

Soda was just jogging back up to the group from saying goodbye to Sandy when they turned onto the Curtis's and Johnny's street.

"Look!" Ponyboy exclaimed. "Darry's home!"

Darry's old Chevrolet was parked in front of the house. He'd been gone to school for six weeks, first at football camp, then unable to scrape the money together to come home, he'd just stayed until the start of school.

"Race you," Soda called out to Pony running past him.

"No fair," Pony yelled chasing after him.

After a moment, Babydoll grinned, kissed Johnny on the cheek, then ran after her brothers.

The others followed them at a slower pace. They had just reached the gate when they heard the scream. It was enough to send panic straight into the hearts of all of them, maybe even Dally's if he hadn't been in the cooler again. They raced to the door, Two-Bit reaching for the knob just as Pony wrenched it open and took off running as fast as he could. When they stepped into the living room, they saw Soda sitting on the arm of the sofa with his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking.

Babydoll had collapsed on the floor, bawling, begging Darry, "It's not true, Darry. You're lying! Say it! Say you're lying!"

Darry was on his knees beside her, trying to pull her up. "You know I'd never lie about something like this, Babydoll. Come on," he pleaded. "It'll be okay. I'm here now."

Steve immediately went to Soda's side. "What's happened?"  
"Mom and Dad," Soda croaked out, before dropping his head and sobbing again. He didn't need to explain further. It could only be one thing.

"Oh no," Steve said, laying an arm over Soda's shoulder.

"How?" Two-Bit asked Darry.

"Wreck. They had gone uptown and were headed back when someone crossed the yellow line and hit them head-on," Darry answered.

"Damn." Two-Bit shook his head.

Babydoll had quit screaming but was still crying. Johnny had knelt beside her, talking in a voice only she could hear. Darry patted him on the back, then stood up.

"I have to go after PonyBoy," he said, looking at Two-Bit. "Can you..."

"I got it," Two-Bit interrupted, knowing what Darry was asking.

"Come on, you two," he said, hauling both Babydoll and Johnny to their feet after Darry left. He pushed Johnny down on one end of the sofa and practically put Babydoll in his lap. She buried her head in the crook of his neck and kept sobbing as Johnny rubbed her back and kept whispering to her.

"You good?" Two-Bit asked, looking at Steve and Soda.

Steve nodded. "We're good."

Darry came back shortly with Pony. He had been crying but was trying to be tough around the guys however if you looked carefully, you would see his lips quivering.

They didn't call anyone that night. They just stayed there. In the living room, holding onto each other, to their friends who had become like family, not caring about the world outside that house.

Johnny pretty much stayed by Babydoll's side but also tried to talk Pony around a bit. Steve and Two-Bit kept trying to take care of everyone, getting drinks, cigarettes, whatever. Around midnight, Dally showed up. Everyone was surprised. Dally usually chose to sit out his days in the cooler instead of paying his fine.

"Heard the fuzz talking," he said by way of explanation to Steve and Two-Bit. "Called Buck and made him pay my fine. Always did like their folks." He didn't go in for the touchy-feely parts the other boys were playing but appointed himself 'security' of sorts sitting by the door, turning away those neighbors that had heard the news.

"Give 'em time," he snarled. "Let 'em get used to the idea before coming snooping around, will ya?" Or "House is closed. Come back in the morning." If he was feeling charitable.

That was how they stayed the night. Everyone feeling as though they'd lost a parent or both. Besides the Curtis children, Johnny and Dally had never had a parent's love except what came from the Curtis' and Steve ran to Mrs. Curtis everytime a girl broke his heart and Mr. Curtis had given Two-Bit more than one man-to-man talk about girls and cars and when to fight and when to walk away.

Maybe they should have called someone, their Aunt from Oklahoma City or Sandy to comfort Soda or one of Babydoll's girlfriends, but no one did. No one wanted anyone else to intrude on their grief. That night was private. That night was just for them. No one slept, sometimes sharing stories, sometimes just sitting together in silence until the sun rose golden over the house.

Babydoll got up that morning and went to the bathroom. She looked in the mirror. She had dark circles under her eyes and her cheeks were tear-stained. She washed her face and brushed her hair but it didn't help. She still didn't look like herself even to her own eyes. She looked different, changed somehow. That was when she realized what separated the Greaser girls from the Socs. It wasn't money or cars like it was for the boys. It was pain. It was eyes that had seen too much. Hearts that knew what it was to really break not just smart because some boy made a careless comment. It was hands chapped from work and bodies already worn out from taking care of siblings and homes while their mothers were working or just gone and now Daisy Curtis who had always been different, separate from those girls knew why. And now she wasn't different. She wouldn't wear too much makeup and her mini-skirts would just be short skirts, not mini but she was a greaser now, none the less. She knew what a broken heart was. She would have cried, except Greaser girls never cry.

* * *

_June 18, 1978_

_Hi,_

_So last night these jerks from my school started a fight with Jamie and me. Turns out Uncle Darry, Uncle Soda, and Mr. Steve knew Jase's uncle and they all put a stop to it pretty quickly. They made Jase apologize but I don't know. What he said is bothering me. I know it's shouldn't. But..., can I be honest with you? Of course, I can. You're a notebook I plan on throwing in the fireplace when I fill up. So, listen, this isn't the first time that someone has said something like that. There is this mean looking woman who lives next to Uncle Darry and Mama and Daddy have always forbidden me, all the kids really, from going anywhere near her. But last winter break, Jamie, Keith, Sara, Melody, and I walked down to the corner store to get Pepsis and candy bars. While we were there, the mean-eyed woman came in so Jamie and I started double-timing to get the little ones out of there. He and Melody took everyone outside while I went to the counter to pay. That's when the woman grabbed me hard by the arm and jerked me up to her. It hurt and she stunk. She smelled like cigarettes and body odor. Like Daddy and Uncle Darry do when they come in from roofing houses in the summer. You know, if they didn't take a bath for a week first, but it was the middle of winter. She turned me around back and forth, then pulled my ponytail down and put her yucky hand in my hair. I was too afraid to even scream. She got right in my face then and said, 'Yer Babydoll's brat, aren't ya? Well, here I always thought yer ma was a cheating whore. Maybe she's just a lying whore instead. Still a cheap tramp though.' Then she shoved me away and I was so scared I ran out without even waiting for our change or Daddy's cigarettes I was picking up. I ran all the way back to Daddy and when he finally got Melody (the big mouth), to tell him what happened, he marched over to that house, madder than I've ever seen him. Uncle Darry was hot on his heels, yelling for him not to lose his head. I don't know what he said to the lady, but I've seen her around a few times since then and she's never tried to touch me or even talk to me again. At first, I thought it was because he was mad that she'd called Mama that name, but Jase also said Mama was running around. What if they're right? Does that mean that Daddy isn't my Daddy? If he's not, then who is? I just can't believe it. My Mama is crazy in love with my Daddy. She wouldn't have done that bad thing to him. I just know it._

_Johnnycake Elizabeth Mathews (I AM A MATHEWS!)_

 


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